Intro music
Andy
It’s Andy’s Podcaster Podcasting Podcast… 121212 Episode thirteen
Captured Audio - Andy and the kids telling knock jokes over breakfast.
ANDY
WELCOME TO MY SHOW! Hope you’re having a great week. Biggest mailbox so far, Nine e-mails since the last show, NINE, got a couple more on the Syria show, of course - because since then, President Bone Spurs has stabbed our Kurdish Allies in the back… if you want to keep up with it, a couple of the shows I reviewed in that episode are following and commenting on the situation - Most notably Anna and Shereen on the Ethnically Ambiguous Podcast and also the Mother Jones Podcast which stepped up with a show on OCT 16th called ‘Trump’s Reckless Gift to ISIS’. I’ll put links in the transcript… I also got some really nice feedback from a couple of the Tom Waits shows - Bill from Confetti got in touch and said they loved it and they want me on as guest on their show, to which I am truly honored. My first invitation! Well, the coroner from Episode 4 wanted on his show too but err in a professional capacity as a subject for his Death Investigation… to which I naturally declined. So yeah, With Confetti in Our Hair - I’m utterly time crushed at the moment but I’m excited to do it and I think we’ll work something out in the new year. Pod hosts guesting on other pods is a very podcasty thing to do, so we’ll see how it goes… What else… oh yeah the guy from the Scene by Scene podcast was less happy with the review last week. He responded by calling my show Andy’s Stupid Stupidest Stupid-fest or something, and he’s grabbed my logo and messed with it. Kind of funny I suppose. He maintains that Ron Perlman is just Tom Waits alter ego when he’s on steroids. I know he’s probably a troll. And I probably shouldn’t feed the troll. But I’ve got to be ready for some shit back if I dish it out. But at least I’m not like most critics - not really working in the medium they judge, just hiding behind a corporate brand or something and heckling from the darkness in the halo of their own perceived superiority. At least, I’m working in the form, experimenting, trying to entertain and add more…
JEN
…Are you recording?
ANDY
yeah…
JEN
Sorry… but did you see the e-mail from my mum?
ANDY
No…
JEN
She says the shower gel has been recalled.
ANDY
Not the
JEN
Yes
ANDY
Lemon Assimilation
JEN
Lemon Assimilation
ANDY
(sigh) I’ve only just got the bloody thing to stay on the wall…
JEN
Can you just take a look at it.
ANDY
Of course… of course I will
JEN
thanks
SFX Door Closing
ANDY
Always somethin’, sigh…OK… What else was there… Not seen Hedge in well.. when was it… in over a week. Since Kaldi’s Social House - one of our fav hangs in downtown Silver Spring… There was a small group of us, and we took a closer look at his tattoo - of the Death Star on his shoulder… His original Davide Tattooine creation, I used the magnifier app on my phone and got an up close view… - so fuckin’ funny- it turns out his Death Star it’s made up of lots of small black cocks. I was laughing so much I was pounding the table, tears streaming down my face… and… well, I’ve not seen him since and he won’t pick up when I call him… He hasn’t even hassled me to work more shoes into the show for the Council… I don’t know… he’ll come round… What else - oh yeah - the other mail- other mail - when am I going to get to the other million pods that are basically FAMEISH people talking to their FAMEISH friends about their boring FAMEISH lives, you know the ones and there are a lot of them, some of them are like eavesdropping on the lamest first dates ever. Ditto the million or so true crime shows about unsolved murders everywhere, literally everywhere. I’ll get to them. Eventually. And that goes for your show - ‘Mr. why haven’t you reviewed my show yet?’ I will review your show because I’m going to review every show in existence - BUT if I give it you a five minute listen and it’s clear from the outset that I’ve done more work on the writing and producing this one episode than you’ve bothered to do in you’re whole fifty episode 300 hour series - then you should probably wait your turn and not badger me… So on to with today in which I’m reviewing The History of Stand Up…
SFX - Radio Scroll - captain Beefheart ‘Frownland’ - Santa drone pt1 - preacher scream - delta tonight
Music - The Rise of the Black Centipede - by Mario Rom’s Interzone
ANDY
It’s…Review…Time…mmmmwahahahahahahahahahaha
ANDY
The History of Stand Up, is a podcast from Wayne Federman and Andrew Steven and the Podglomerate production house. Looks like Podglomerate have about twenty or so shows they have made or are partnering with to promote. This will be the first show of there’s I’ll be reviewing but they are putting out something interesting stuff and so I’ll be back sooner or later. Ok so The History of Standup. Yes. As a lover of comedy and sometime practitioner of all the bits. This is definitely my jam. But I would say first and foremost that - you do not have to be a lover of stand up or a deep diving comedy geek to enjoy this show. Don’t let the History in the title put you off…
There are two seasons out - 6 episodes a season and a few choice bonus episodes, so fifteen or so episodes, amounting to about twenty hours of listening pleasure. And it is a good ride and very binge-able. The first season is a straight up chronological History of Standup - From Vaudeville to comedy records and TV that popularized the form through the first comedy boom into the Alt Comedy scene and the current comedy boom centering around Youtube and the Netflix cash injection. The second season focuses on Individual stand up clubs or established spots like The Oscars and their histories. So there’s episodes on the and rise and fall of places like San Francisco’s Holy City Zoo and the Playboy Clubs.
My listening routine lately has been plugging in to show early morning at the gym, I hit the elliptical - yeah - the elliptical - I’m not sure exactly what it does or what muscles I’m really working it’s sort of like running without the full effort of running - is it a skiing movement? - no it’s not really skiing quite, it’s more like training for the four hundred meter nursing home corridor shuffle in a knackered pair of slippers, got to make it to the bingo room before all the good danish are gone! anyway when I was doing all the listening for the Syria show, it was a naturally a very somber groove and I teared up a few times and got some funny looks from my fellow gym rats, wondering if I was in the midst of a full breakdown. Well listening to this has been the exact opposite, in fact there’s been a few times I’ve been laughing so loud that I’ve surprised people and had them shoot me repeated looks becoming few happy smiling glances. Laughter is contagious, as any stand up will confirm. And one of the best things about this podcast is they are mining a very fertile comedy goldmine. They have got access to some of the best lines and routines from comedy history and they are threading them quite wonderfully throughout the show. So it’s great you’re reminded of old the bits you love from Bob Newhart to Richard Prior and Dave Chapelle and everyone between and beyond. And they’ve clearly put a lot of thought into the clips to really make each episode fit with the historic documentary goal of the episode and wider history. So the hosts are Wayne Federman, I just checked his bio, sounds like one of the hardest working men in comedy - over 30 years as a road comedian, hundreds of film and tv cameos from x-files to the Gary Handling Show and now he’s actually teaching a course in comedy at USC. So he provides a sort of professorial backbone to the show while his co-host Andrew Steven is the younger comedy Neophyte. They are kind of like the Radio Lab team in this respect, only a thousand times less annoying - what only me? Come on, I like radio lab but that explainer schtick they got going on between them is wearing a bit thin - with Jad haven’t to explain what an app is old grandad Robert while old grandad Robert has to take the lead sometimes with Jad to explain what a book is…’ But back to History of Stand up - it’s a great show. Very bingable - take it on your commute or next road trip. You’ll be learning stuff and laughing and finding new comedy heroes to track down like for me it was Mort Sahl. The episode on the Playboy Clubs with Dick Gregory breaking down the racial barrier and busting out of the Chitlin circuit is moving as well as being funny. They end season two talking about making a third season and I’m looking forward to that. So the History of Stand Up gets - five stars - two thumbs up, a laughing policeman from Blackpool Pier and the Flag Hippo from Tim Vine’s comedy tour circa 2008.
SFX - Laughing Policeman and Tim’s Vine’s Flag Hippo
Music - The Rise of the Black Centipede by Mario Rom’s Interzone
SFX - Facetime dial tone
ANDY
Calling Hedge… Let’s see if he’ll pick up…
Hey man, how you doing?
HEDGE:
(SIGH)…
ANDY:
What?
HEDGE:
Well I still have a bunch of cocks tattooed on my shoulder, if that’s what you mean…
ANDY
Dude… you really can’t tell. It’s still an absolute masterpiece… And it still looks …primarily like the death star…
HEDGE
Yeah…
ANDY:
Sure… I mean a Death Star constructed out of a thousand black cocks…
HEDGE:
Fuck off… look, if you’ve just called to kick me around, I’d rather…
ANDY
Wait… wait, I’m sorry…
HEDGE
I just can’t believe I didn’t see it! And do you know how many people I’ve shown it too? A Tattooine original. I got a hundreds of likes from the Instagram post.
ANDY
Instant hubris…
HEDGE
What?
ANDY
Well, you shouldn’t be so cocky!
HEDGE
OH Fuck off!
ANDY
Sorry. really. Sorry. I promise… That’s the last one…No more.
HEDGE
And Penny! Laughing at me at the pool party. I think that’s the worst. I was thinking of asking her out…
ANDY
Well, yeah. Dude, that would have been like a good idea maybe two years ago when you took her number!
HEDGE
What’s that supposed to mean? I’ve been busy!
ANDY
Two Years man! You’ve got to follow through sometimes… ‘CARPE DIEM’ and all that…
HEDGE
No. No. Don’t give me CARPE DIEM! I fucking CARPE THE FUCK OUT OF MY DIEM. You don’t even understand what it means…
ANDY
Seize the day
HEDGE
Fuck off
ANDY
That’s the accepted translation.
Hedge
That’s bullshit. A mis-translation. You’re whole understanding of the world is a mis-translation. SEIZE THE DAY. Give me a break. What A NASTY WILL TO POWER - piece of shit. Who are you Ayn Rand?
ANDY
My cover is blown at last! Yes I am Ayn Rand!
HEDGE
LOOK, HORACE wasn’t that kind of cat. No sir. The poet who wrote the ODES?
ANDY
He wrote an ode to Ayn Rand?
HEDGE
THE CORRECT TRANSLATION IS ‘PLUCK THE DAY’ … AS IN SAVOR THE MOMENT… NOT SEIZE THE DAY AT ALL…
ANDY
Well,,, That’s very different.
HEDGE
No shit.
ANDY
You’re implying a more of a passive actor engaging in some kind of meditative mindfulness… I don’t know… sounds fishy…
HEDGE
Have you read Horace?
ANDY
I may have skipped a few of the early Roman Poets… but in my defense, Zeus made me do it…
HEDGE
Philistine
ANDY
OK, but we don’t live in HORACE’S Time, I haven’t sacrificed an Ox to Bhaccus. I don’t interpret the mourning doves outside my house as a reason to storm the White House…
HEDGE
If you read the work. You would see.
ANDY
OK… It seems you have me at an advantage sir! Prithe hold thy thrashing tongue while I question mine pocket Oracle.
HEDGE
Yes… do… Go Google… try and educate yourself….
ANDY
I will sir…
HEDGE
Stop being an ignoramus.
ANDY
I am sir…
HEDGE
You’ll see… Pluck the day.
ANDY
OK, OK, Quintus Horatius Flaccus, 65 BCE. Epicurean… Well that’s it then. Reconciles morality with hedonism blah de blah… by Jove… you could well be on to something…
HEDGE
I told you…
ANDY
Carpe Diem… from the odes… don’t waste time on futile Babylonian Calculations… be wise and mix the wine… the envious moment is trying… SEIZE THE DAY!
HEDGE
PLUCK Mother-fucker PLUCK THE DAY…
ANDY
OK OK OK - yes there is a bit about the latin directly - yeah some… are saying Carpe is more accurately translated to pluck…
HEDGE
Thank-you.
ANDY
But it’s Epicurean philosophy, so I think it’s really more like a tie really… if anything it’s the DAY part that’s misleading. It should be Seize the Food. Enjoy all the cakes and sweetmeats now before the fates descend as a swarm of flies and spoil the picnic.
HEDGE
Exactly. Enjoy the moment. Spoil yourself with what you have… rather than the your common understanding which is more like… charging around like some Cervantes dickhead on a Quest…
ANDY
…What’s wrong with having a quest?
HEDGE
(sigh) Dude… Nobody is buying that… You’re never going to review every Podcast in existence.
ANDY
I will do it or die trying… and then my children will continue the work… and then their children.
HEDGE
Wow… that sounds like an actual curse dude… And Nobody likes a critic.
ANDY
Yeah… I’m starting to get that… It’s why I try to be so nice.
HEDGE
NICE. That’s Fucking funny.
ANDY
I am nice! Right… so do you think they are meant to be Darth Vader’s cocks or what? I mean that makes most sense in the Star Wars Universe… if you’re going to invent a world with magic swords and ghost life coaches why stop there - the blackened charred genitals of the Sith Lords may as well be the strongest building material available to the Empire… He’s hung up… rude…
SFX - This is Andy’s Phone - Leave a Message
EMMY
Hi Andy, I don’t know if you’ve got my e-mail. I know you think I’m a worrywart…But it’s about your shower gel. The Lemon stuff. They’ve recalled it. Please check it out for the sake of the children. Let me know you got this.
Andy
I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’ll check it out. Of course I will Emmy. I promise. The kids aren’t using my shower gel though. They can’t even reach it. It’s up high on the wall. They get the organic orange vanilla stuff from Costco - tear free, pure ingredients that haven’t been stepped on by some chemical corporation. They can smell my stuff. Of course. It’s very strong. I have to like be really careful when I pump some out, it’s super concentrated, you need like a drop, about the size of a quarter otherwise the whole house smells like a Lemon Factory, not a lemon grove, it’s definitely that next uncomfortable level. Industrialized. But once I worked out not to use too much, I think it’s been it’s OK - in fact - on the plus side. I’ve stopped having to use deodorant. Yeah it’s that strong, and it lasts all day. And. It’s also really put an end to other bathroom smells, if you know what I mean… most air fresheners you have, you take a big stinky dump and you try to cover up the smell and so you use something like Pine Fresh Forest Air Freshener and it doesn’t really work, at best it’s like ‘Oh someone has taking a big dump in a Pine Forest’
Music - Everything is Permitted by Mario Rom’s Interzone
ANDY
So that’s a wrap, thanks for listening to the show…. If you’re enjoying what I’m doing, want to chip in, please visit the website - click the link and buy me a coffee, it’s easy, a couple bucks via paypal… www.andyspodcasterpodcastingpodcast.com… The Jazz is provided by Mario Rom’s Interzone… I don’t know who supplying you’re Jazz at the moment but you should switch to these cats. Special congratulations to Mario this week - he’s just started a new job, teaching Jazz Trumpet at Anton Bruckner University in Linz. Superb. Andy’s Podcaster Podcasting Podcast is still sponsored by the American Shoe Council, I hope… Over 30 thousand years of bi-pedal history - Shoes - how else you going to protect you feet. Haven’t decided what I’m reviewing next week, I’ll post it on the facebook group when I do, in a couple of days, come find us there if you haven’t already… Thanks for listening… and bye-bye.